My Daughter and I Are One Entity

My nephew calls me Scarlett. He also calls my daughter Scarlett.  I’m fine with it, considering he used to call me “Racecar”, but it got me thinking like a two year old. In his eyes, Scarlett and I are one entity; I’m the attachment that comes with the baby.
Motherhood is great, but I feel susceptible to being signifier to just “Mom”. That being said, I think it’s very important to reestablish an identity outside of your children, but I also want to fully incorporate my identity into this role as well.
So, I’m working on setting up a Mom group for women in my area who have children under the age of one year.  They know what I’m going through and I know what they’re going through so we should get together and swap war stories. Haha.
Seriously though, we can share tips, go on outings, and just listen to each other. When I was pregnant and especially now, I just wanted someone to ask how I was doing, not rhetorically.
I ask my new mom friends how they are doing emotionally and I push past the socially proscribed answer: “I’m fine.”
We are all trained to think that not being okay is not okay.  Just because we are blessed with the ability to give birth and nurture a child doesn’t mean that it comes naturally or easily. I sure as hell got the baby blues after I gave birth, and I still get them now, but everyone is conditioned to not say anything about it because “everyone’s got problems”.
Well, I disagree. I shut myself off from people because I would reach out and try to help, advise, or simply just listen and when I needed that no one was ever around. That isn’t the answer. You shouldn’t stop helping others just because there was no reciprocity, you keep searching for those who will.
So moms, I say let’s form a bond and let’s be there for each other while we perform the greatest job in the world, the one that pays in love. 

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Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.

Day One of Three-Day Cleanse

So, in my last post, I discussed my toxic relationship with meat and how I’m not going to eat it as much, which is difficult since my mother is here from Dominican Republic cooking up a storm. But I’ve given up meat before. I did it for God, I can do it for myself.
So, today is the start of my three- day cleanse, I need to reboot, I’m not feeling my best.  Here’s what I’m doing: the Shakeology Three-Day Cleanse.

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Wish me luck, and stay tuned for your next slice of genius.

Diary of a Part-Time Carnivore

It’s the story of everyone’s life at some point in their lives: what you love doesn’t love you back. This is another unrequited love story. I LOVE MEAT, BUT MEAT DON’T LOVE ME!

As you all know, or should know if you’ve read my previous posts, I gave up meat for Lent. Being pescatarian felt great. I didn’t have any lags in energy and I wasn’t left hungry. Well, Lent ended and I resumed eating meat. I played Peaches and Herb’s “Reunited” as I took my first bite into a delicious hot dog.

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My first taste of meat after Lent ended.

Then, I went home and made some baked ribs with tostones and salsa verde.

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It felt great, like making up with your boyfriend after a nasty fight. You can’t get enough and you’re sure that this time the relationship will never end again. Then, you remember how toxic the relationship is for you; it doesn’t exactly bring out your best self, and, despite how good you feel when you’re together, you feel like crap later. You wonder if those few instances of happiness are worth the even more common, more prolonged, instances of pain.

In the end, you decide that the best thing is for you to let go of the relationship completely or maybe just be friends because you deserve a love that loves you back or at least loves you better.

This story is all too familiar, right? For me, it hits close to home because I went through this with an ex, who was definitely not the one for me, but he has been my best friend for years after we broke up. Now, I’m in the same situation with meat.

After not eating it for months, I feel how harmful it is for my body. I’ve suffered from acid reflux and digestive problems for years. While I was strictly pescatarian, I didn’t feel the heaviness in my stomach and my reflux was under control. I even ate tomatoes and oranges without consequences. Then, I started eating meat regularly again, and it’s like all of the negatives of my relationship with meat hit me hard. I had to start taking Prilosec again and all is not well in the digestive sector of my life. I’m forced with the decision again, do I want to remain in a toxic relationship, or do I want to end it?

I love meat, but meat don’t love me; so maybe we should just be friendly, see each other occasionally  and catch up, but not too often. I have decided to remain pescatarian, eating meat only once in a while.

Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.

What to Call Your Absentee Father

So, yesterday, I attended a birthday party at my son’s paternal grandfather’s house.  It wasn’t awkward at all, she thought, sarcastically.  Well, my son comes up to me and asks  if I had met, let’s call him Dave, “Dave’s girlfriend”. Why was my son calling his father Dave?

When we left, I asked my son, “So are you calling your father Dave now?” I figured maybe it was a prepubescent-trying-to-be-cool thing, but he replied, “No, but I don’t know what to call him so when I spoke to him I just said hey, (insert indistinguishable mutter here)”.
It was hard not to laugh a little, but truth is, I could see my son was having a real problem with this.  What do you call the man who lives ten minutes away from you but pays you absolutely no attention unless his father invites you over? My son says he is not his dad, and is constantly asking me when I’m going to get him a real dad.
So, it’s my fault he doesn’t have a father, he says, and he shouldn’t have to call his father “Dad”.

What a pickle I am in. Haha.
Well, I told my son, to keep it simple and just call him “Dad” even if he doesn’t feel like that title is merited, which my son perceptively noticed it isn’t.  I was like, “Just call him Dad. After all, you see the guy like once every four or five months, it doesn’t hurt anyone. Or call him whatever you want, I don’t want to force you. As for a ‘real’ father, you already have one: me. I’m your Mad or your Dom. Your Mad is amazeballs so you don’t need anyone else.”

Amazeballs led to giggles and conversation ended, but I’m anticipating a similar conversation years from now when my daughter asks why she’s never met her father. (I know what you’re thinking, I sure know how to pick’em. I thought I had it right the second time around but, no).
What a pickle I am in.

Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.

Weight Loss Journey Milestone: Nailed It!

So, I finished T-25 Beta cycle, and I finally became a Beachbody Coach (Yay!).  Shaun T’s workouts are so amazing that I’m actually starting Insanity. I feel better than I have in years, and I even signed up for my first 5K run!

I'm running for this girl right here, so we can beat cancer!!

I’m running for this girl right here, so we can beat cancer!!

My first 5K Yay!

  My first 5K Yay!

 

So, now I’m training and seeing my body change daily. I’ve lost all of the weight I gained during my pregnancy and a little more, and my body feels like it did when I was an overactive teenager. I can feel the muscle in my body, and I look better than I did before I got pregnant. Here, take a look:

This is me days before I got pregnant

This is me days before I got pregnant

This is me on 4/19 in jeans I haven't fit in since 2011

This is me on 4/19 in jeans I haven’t fit in since 2011

I know it doesn’t look like much of a difference, but I feel the difference. I know for a fact that I consist of more muscle now, and my endurance and stamina is greater. And I’m only getting better.

Where was I going with this post? Oh yeah, T-25 Beta cycle: NAILED IT!. I’m not going do Gamma just yet so, I’m on to insanity.

 

BTW, if any of you are interested in learning more about Beachbody programs and products, Here is my page: http://www.beachbodycoach.com/JessicaCo

Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.

Lent is Over, But My Pescatarian Diet Isn’t

So, I successfully went all of Lent without eating meat, except for March 16th, when I accidentally ate some mini meat empanadas at a birthday party. As a penitence, I gave up alcohol. So I went 40 (counting Good Friday) days and nights without meat and 33 days without alcohol. It was great. I did miss meat at times and alcohol a lot, but I actually like being pecatarian and alcohol free. I’m actually going to remain a part-time carnivore, eating meat maybe once a week or so.

Just to recap my Lent, I’m going to upload pictures of some of things I cooked while everyone was out meatloving.

etc. etc. etc.

Stay tuned for your next slice of genius

Monthly Measurements April 2014…Weight Loss Journey Continues

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The blue shorts pics are from when my weight loss journey began: December 19, 2013. I had just gotten the okay from the doctor to workout after baby.

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Bikini Comparison. the top row is current, the bottom row is from January 4, 2014

 

It’s the beginning of April, so it’s time for an update on my weight loss journey. I only lost two pounds, but I’m okay with that. Here’s why:

I slacked off while mummy dearest was visiting. I didn’t work out for almost two weeks (shame on me, I know) and I refused to resist my mom’s cooking. I don’t feel guilty at all. I think that’s very important.

Guilt can be dangerous, especially when it comes to losing weight. It can lead to trying to make up for the lost time, and it’s like sleep, you can’t catch up on lost sleep. Some may try to stop eating to balance out overeating and exercising too much (yes, it’s possible and it’s unsafe) to make up for the weeks off. I just picked up where I left off and didn’t give it a second thought, and look, I still lost inches and two pounds!

I haven’t eaten meat since Lent began. Well, I accidentally ate mini meat empanadas at a birthday party before I remembered I wasn’t supposed to eat meat, but as a penitence, I gave up alcohol as well. So, no meat and no alcohol helped me during the weeks I didn’t work out. I resumed my regular workout routine the week my mom left (week of March 24).

Now that it’s getting warmer out, I have incorporated swimming (I didn’t want to risk catching pneumonia by going outside with wet hair) and will be starting tennis, tennis, and jogging. Springtime is great for weight loss because you go outdoors more often, and every trip outdoors is opportunity to be active. My son is already asking to go to the park, so walking there pushing the baby stroller is activity. Let’s see how my weight loss journey fares in the month of April!

Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.