My nephew calls me Scarlett. He also calls my daughter Scarlett. I’m fine with it, considering he used to call me “Racecar”, but it got me thinking like a two year old. In his eyes, Scarlett and I are one entity; I’m the attachment that comes with the baby.
Motherhood is great, but I feel susceptible to being signifier to just “Mom”. That being said, I think it’s very important to reestablish an identity outside of your children, but I also want to fully incorporate my identity into this role as well.
So, I’m working on setting up a Mom group for women in my area who have children under the age of one year. They know what I’m going through and I know what they’re going through so we should get together and swap war stories. Haha.
Seriously though, we can share tips, go on outings, and just listen to each other. When I was pregnant and especially now, I just wanted someone to ask how I was doing, not rhetorically.
I ask my new mom friends how they are doing emotionally and I push past the socially proscribed answer: “I’m fine.”
We are all trained to think that not being okay is not okay. Just because we are blessed with the ability to give birth and nurture a child doesn’t mean that it comes naturally or easily. I sure as hell got the baby blues after I gave birth, and I still get them now, but everyone is conditioned to not say anything about it because “everyone’s got problems”.
Well, I disagree. I shut myself off from people because I would reach out and try to help, advise, or simply just listen and when I needed that no one was ever around. That isn’t the answer. You shouldn’t stop helping others just because there was no reciprocity, you keep searching for those who will.
So moms, I say let’s form a bond and let’s be there for each other while we perform the greatest job in the world, the one that pays in love.
Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.
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