“I do not belie…

“I do not believe in love at first sight, because I didn’t even need to see you to know that I wanted to spend forever with you.” -Shawn Spencer, Psych series finale

Psych ended last night, and I’m extremely sad about it. it’s been my favorite show for eight years, and it’s over. I cried during many moments of last night’s episode, especially when Shawn proposed to Juliet. The end would have only been more perfect if Gus had found someone to love, and if Emilio Estevez would have guest starred. Otherwise, it was great.

Watching your favorite show get closure is hard. During the episode, I thought a lot about my life: where am I in my life, where do I want to be, how am I going to get there, etc.? When Shawn finally proposed, I bawled like a baby, partly because it finally happened, but mostly because I just kept thinking, “I’m going to be single for the rest of my life, and no one will love me like Shawn loves Jules!” Dramatic, I know, but Psych had two things I really want in life: a awesomely close friendship and a loving relationship. 

Unfortunately, I’m extremely isolated from everyone, more emotionally than physically, because I have deep deep-seated trust issues that I can’t get over only because I need to protect myself and my kids. I’ve already vowed not to date or enter a romantic relationship until my daughter is eighteen; I’m paranoid so I do not want any men around my kids, and if I have to wait until I’m forty-four to find love I don’t mind seeing as I felt what the quote articulates and it ended up in heartbreak and a fatherless child. 

As for friendship, I feel like a fish out of water around most people, and I’m simply tired of people calling to unload their problems and not even asking how I’m doing. So, I simply stop interacting with people. I know it’s unfair to the people who aren’t completely self-absorbed and actually care about others, but I haven’t found any of those in my neck of the woods so…yeah. I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, maybe I should be going to a therapist, ha ha. But I guess my point is: Psych was an awesome show, and the series finale brought up all of these emotions. I just finished re-watching last night’s finale, and the emotions are still here.

Stay tuned for your next slice of genius.

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